Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Questions :Apathy

Questions produce apathy. Questions produce apathy?

A good friend told me this statement the other day and it has been on my mind lately. Mostly because my year so far at Providence has been marked by extreme apathy. I lack passion for no reason that I can see. My relationships, my studies, my everything seems to be apathetic. To make matters worse I'm apathetic about being apathetic. On top of all this, I have spent my last month searching in vain for the cause of my apathy.

But I think, thanks to my friend, I have discovered the cause of my apathy. If I question everything, life, love, God, identity, and I am unable to come up with any answers then eventually I've gotten tired. I've gotten tired of this endless questioning process. I've grown tired of not really knowing...anything. So perhaps my newfound apathetic attitude is not because I know it all and have no desire to grow, but because I know absolutely nothing and the very thought of trying to know something pushes me into complete and total exhaustion.

The cure for my apathy? ...that is yet another question.